Why Rachael's Earth?

So it turns out that I'm autistic, along with a lot of other things. The weird thing about it is that I don't feel different. I mean why would I, I've been me my whole life. I've always felt like I don't think properly or there's an issue with the way I communicate or there's just a problem with who I am. It's hard to live your whole life blaming yourself and change that as an adult. This information and realization is causing me not to feel different but to view myself and the world differently. I'm giving myself grace, forgiving myself, and comforting younger Rachael who was hurt so badly there was never any room to understand herself. Now there is though. That different way that I've viewed the world isn't going to be suppressed anymore. I'm embracing it, learning to understand it, and showcasing it to the world. I don't need to hide myself anymore to be accepted or tolerated. I don't really care about that anymore. All I want now is to allow myself to be and express everything beautiful within me that I used to think was wrong or weird or too complicated. So yes, I struggle with communication, and emotions, and thinking, and certainty, and routines, and overstimulation, and focus, and pressured speech, and all kinds of other things. But I also have exciting special interests, and emotional sensitivity, and compassion, and a way of breaking my ideas into parts and putting them all together in my head. I am a damn good painter, not only that but the way I think about paint in a way that I struggle to explain to others allows me to understand the way it works and fully plan processes in my head, fully visualizing each step until the completed product. My brain allows me to do this with any artistic project or process, full, intense, complex, layered visualization. But that doesn't make me rigid in my art practice, on the contrary, the mental breakdown helps me be prepared for changes and fluidity in my work, because I don't view paint as a tool or material, I view it as a substance I have a deep relationship with. Every painting is reflective of different versions and expressions of that relationship. Every painting allows me to unravel the complexities of my thoughts and release who I am into the universe. Every piece of jewelry is a wearable version of my painterly mindset. With each creation, I get out of my head a little more which is something I so desperately need as someone who is not only Autistic but also has ADHD, CPTSD, and OCD. Every creation allows me to breathe a little easier. So yeah, apparently I'm autistic, but honestly who is surprised? And the me that I've been waiting to allow into the world can now be better understood and embraced by the me that I've been portraying to the world in the meantime. So this artistic endeavor is not just for money, and certainly not to appeal to everyone. Rachael's Earth is to allow me to be me, outside of my brain. I am now an artist in public because I don't need or want to be hidden anymore. Rachael's Earth is how I view the world, expressed through paint and jewels, and although I hope people are interested and buy things and find joy in my work, it's not for everyone, it's for me.